#77 Meditate at the Huntsville Trappist monastery

I recently got back from a two-night, three-day stay at a monastery!  Yep, that's right: a monastery.  With real monks and everything.  And it was awesome!

Sign at the entrance: Abbey of Our Lady of the Holy Trinity

I found out about this place when I was 20 and did an internet search on churches in the area.  The fact that the monastery offered retreats was intriguing (what?  I could be a retreatant?  Cool!).  I loved the idea of getting a cultural experience from the inside, and really getting to know what it was like there.  On their site, it says that: "Retreats generally are private, allowing the individual retreatant to arrange his own time for reading, exercising, resting, walking, or simply letting the Lord Jesus speak to his heart."

So I e-mailed the "guestmaster" who was a really nice monk named Father Charles, and he set me up with a time to come.  Generally they have male retreatants, who stay in the monastery and eat with the monks.  However, female retreatants are allowed to come and stay at the family guest house (when there aren't any family members visiting the monks) and bring their own food.  My little house was .6 miles down the road from the monastery.

Isn't it adorable?!  Apparently it was built in the 1930's.  To me it became a holy place.

 And I fell in LOVE with my little house!  I had the whole downstairs to myself, which included four bedrooms, each with a queen and a twin size bed.  I also had a complete kitchen and living room/dining room.  There was a hammock outside on the lawn, a picnic table, and it overlooked beautiful fields.

Yes, I read books on that hammock and ate dinner at that picnic table!

The view from my front door!

I came right at the end of harvest, so all of the hay was baled into cylindrical shapes, and all of the alfalfa was in rectangular prisms.  I love that view.  So peaceful.  Makes me want to live out in the country.

alfalfa

hay

Several times a day I would make the walk down to the monastery.

This was built as a "temporary" monastery in 1947

The monks keep a very strict schedule:
3:15 rise
3:30 Vigils (Night Prayer)--this is the only one I didn't attend...you're not allowed to.
6:00 Lauds (Morning Prayer)
6:25 Mass
7:45 Terce (Midmorning Prayer)
8:00 Work
12:15 Sext (Midday Prayer)
12:30 Dinner
2:15 None (Midafternoon Prayer)
2:30 Work
4:30 end of work
5:30 Vespers (evening Prayer)
6:00 Supper
7:30 Compline (Night Prayer)
8:00 Retire

Monks:
There are only 13 monks at this monastery, and their average age is 83.  So they are in the process of shutting down.  When they can no longer take care of the monastery, the remaining monks will be sent to the 10 or 11 other Trappist monasteries in the United States (I had no idea it was so few!  I think it's just this "order" though...I'm sure there are more Benedictan and Franciscan monasteries).

It takes 6 years for a novice/vocation (new monk wannabe) to take his final vows.  He has to make sure he likes this lifestyle and wants to make a lifelong commitment.  During final vows, they commit to chastity, stability (not leaving the lifestyle), and...a few other things.  There are 5 vows.

These monks devote their life first to prayer.  In Father Patrick's words, "that's why we're here!"  Their second priority is to work.  They do manual labor (as much as 83 year olds can).

If the monk is also a priest, he can hear confessions and bless communion.

Chants:
All of the prayers in the schedule above are called "chants," which to me sound like singing.  Some chants are 10-15 minutes long, and some are 25-30 minutes long.  The schedule is generally like this: chants, reading from the Bible, chants, reading from the Bible, chants, silence for prayer.  People are invited to follow the monks' posture, but not to sing with them.  So I stand when they stand, sit when they sit, and bow forward when they do (at the end of every Psalm when they say "Praise the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, both now and forever).  My favorite chant is Compline (at night before they go to bed), because at the end of it, the head priest sprinkles holy water on everyone.  All the monks and any in the audience that want to join (I was told I could participate in this ahead of time, so I did!) come in two lines, bow in front of the priest, and are sprinkled.  To me it felt like love.

I wanted to embed a video here of the chanting, but it's not working.  Please follow this link if you want to check it out.  The volume on it is horrible, but it's the only video taken in this particular monastery, which is super cool!

Mass:
I was lucky enough to attend mass on both mornings and they were two different types of mass. (p.s. I went to mass in Orem a few years ago, and thought I'd done the Catholic thing, and didn't put it on my list of churches to visit...this was a VERY different experience from that mass)

On Wednesday I went to a typical weekday mass.  It was at 6:25am and lasted 35 minutes.  There were...about 6 people in attendance.  I saw the only kid that I ever saw at the monastery during that mass: a thirteen year old boy with his dad.  The beginning was very much like the chants--chanting, reading from the Bible, repeat.  Then they had a short sermon on serving God by serving each other.  A good half of the service was dedicated to the Eucharist.  The main priest holds up the wafers and the chalice of wine separately and prays over them.  The monks chant.  Some more speaking, praying, chanting over the Eucharist happens.  Then the main priest (there's a specific name for him) partakes of the Eucharist himself, serves all the other monks, and then comes with an assistant up to the front.  The audience comes up to partake, and the priest says, "The body of Christ" and puts the wafer in the person's mouth.  Then they go to the assistant who says, "The blood of Christ," and hands them the chalice of wine (then wipes it off for the next person).  After the Eucharist, there is time for silent prayers, then the priest announces that mass is now over.

On Thursday I went to a feast day mass for the Assumption of Mary into heaven.  This mass started at 8am, last a full hour, and had probably 12 people in attendance.  It had all of the same elements of the normal mass (the sermon this time was about the physical body...quite interesting), plus a few extra things.  We were invited to show each other the "token of peace," which was raising a hand or giving a short wave to each other.  The sermon was longer.  I forget what else was different.  Another thing I noticed is that Catholics know how to respond.  Whenever they read a passage from the Bible, the monk will end by saying "the word of the Lord."  Then the audience might repeat back "Blessed be the name of the Lord," or "Blessed be the Lord God," or some other such thing.  But they always knew exactly which phrase to repeat (and I had no idea, nor could distinguish a pattern).  So I think it would be helpful to grow up Catholic so you know what to do.  I enjoy that other churches are more participatory during the meetings.

My Experience
When I scheduled this visit a month and a half ago, I was mainly doing it for a cultural experience.  It was new, rare, and sounded fun (each one of which would be reason enough for me to do something).  However, in the past few weeks I had gone through a rough time.  So what started out as a cultural experience actually became more like a pilgrimage for me.  I wanted to reconnect with God and with my own self.  I wanted to feel whole again.  I wanted to feel peace again.

You see, I'm a pretty active person.  I'm very good at packing things into my day, multi-tasking, goal-setting, and accomplishing.  All good things...but none of which is conducive to feeling peace.  God speaks to us in silence, I learned (I believe from a book on Mother Theresa).  In fact, I'd been told a month and a half ago that God wanted me to be more silent (priesthood blessing).  But I didn't really know what that meant or how to do it.  I believe I've learned!  Or at least am starting to.  It was definitely good for me.

In addition to being proactive, I'm also an extrovert.  That doesn't like to be alone.  So the idea of spending 48 hours essentially by myself was intimidating.  So I planned out what I was going to do.  I was going to catch up on my journal writing, read the five different books I brought with, and learn how to meditate.  And go for walks and do yoga.

This picture is right side up on the file...don't know why it's vertical here!  But this is my coffee table full of books.

Here are the books I brought, along with some Catholic ones I found there!  I read a bit in three of my books (Feeling Good, The Magician's Nephew, and Run Less, Run Faster), and I read the two booklets on Mother Theresa.  Pretty decent, I'd say!

I also practiced a few forms of meditation (another thing I'd never tried).  Some of the videos I watched were cheesy and totally turned me off to meditation, but I'd heard enough about it to want to give it a try.  I tried mantra meditation, walking meditation, and lovingkindness meditation.  Ironically, most of my meditation came from Buddhist sources.  I like this website the best.  They have a few free downloads, if you feel inclined to try!  The lovingkindness ones were my favorite.

And I did catch up on my journal, and I walked several miles a day.  I tried my yoga DVD...the one I had tried once and put away...yeah, I got 20 minutes into it and decided it wasn't for me.  I don't think yoga in general isn't for me, but this particular DVD just turns me off to it.  I'll try again in the future, but in a class setting.

I also spent a LOT of time talking with people.  My two favorite people were Father Patrick, and the groundskeeper Kevin.

Father Patrick and I in the church.  The stained glass behind us is beautiful, and the choir chairs are where the monks chant.

Kevin, one of the nicest guys ever

Typical Phrases of Father Patrick

"You're sacred to me, do you know that?"

"Do I give the impression that I enjoy your company?"

"You're really loveable."

"You won't have to come back, because I won't let you go!"
"I love you."

What I Learned From Them

• All Trappist monasteries are dedicated to Mary
• Trappist comes from the location of the first monastery of this order: La Trappe, France.  But the real name of this order is the "Cistercian" order, and it's teachings are based off of Saint Benedict.
• Monks sin at times, and when they do, they go straight to confession!
• In this particular order, the monks are vegetarian (except for they have fish on special occasions)
• I also learned many of their stories...
• The guy who wanted to get married after graduating college, so he went to college and went dancing every week, looking for Miss Right, didn't find her, and decided to be a monk
• The guy who had a revelation at age 11 when his 6th grade teacher asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up.  He knew right then and there that he wanted to be a priest!
• The guy who lived on the wild side until having a spiritual awakening
• And soooo much more!

Acting Like a Catholic
I felt conflicted a few times while I was there about acting like a Catholic when I'm not.  Like:

• Bowing toward the stained glass of Mary and baby Jesus when I enter and exit the monastery
• Repeating Hail Mary with Father Patrick

Bowing felt like showing respect both to Jesus and to the worshipers there.  It didn't feel like I was worshiping the glass or an idol.  But I still felt a bit conflicted.  Repeating Hail Mary felt like showing respect to Father Patrick, although I felt very insincere saying it, as I personally do not believe in asking anyone to make intercession with God for me.  I also felt sensitive to the possibility that I was giving the wrong impression (I am seeking truth within my own faith and seeking simply to understand other religions--not questioning my faith and looking elsewhere).

Sometimes acting like a Catholic felt fine, though, such as:

• Repeating The Lord's Prayer
• Kneeling in prayer on the "kneelers"

Twice Father Patrick was kneeling and asked me to join him in prayer.  We said the Lord's Prayer together (which felt like reciting scripture to me, rather than praying, since we take it as an "example" rather than a set prayer), and then he immediately lead me in Hail Mary.  I would pray silently on the kneelers several times a day by myself, usually before a chant.  I LOVED it!  So comfortable.  It's a great praying posture.  I liked the focus of praying toward the front of the church and the stained glass.

Take Aways

There are several things I took away from the monastery--things the Lord taught me through his Holy Spirit.

• Pray out loud, as much as possible
• Make time for stillness
• God talks in silence
• Have my eye single to the glory of God
• When I am devoting my time to spiritual matters, be ALL there--no distractions, no cell phone, etc.
• When I am doing other activities, I can still pray and consecrate them to the Lord and let Him know that He is still my focus
• Pray for discernment that I might be receptive to promptings of the Holy Ghost in order to be Christ's hands on the Earth
• I learned that I can be still and quiet, and that I have more peace when I am.  Although I am tempted by the monk lifestyle, God wants me to be out in the world.  This means that although I'll be in a place where my attention is often split many ways, there is a way to have inner peace.  And God wants me to be with people.
• Writing in my journal is important, therapeutic, and should be done every day.
• and many more! 

My Dollar

And, of course, my dollar for completing this goal went to the monastery.  I gave my "voluntary offering" (they don't charge for the retreat, but they kindly ask for a voluntary offering of your own free will and ability), and I also added a dollar.  And I feel dang good about where that dollar went.  :)